Prayer Is Not Pointless (An Entry From the Archives)

Here is another entry form the archive. 

It is from about a week after my 15th birthday. 

It is interesting to read my 15 year old thoughts. I may not have had all of my theology right, or at least not the clearest words to express it, but I was learning about God's faithfulness and kindness to those who have put their trust in Him. I am grateful to look back and see that I was wanting to honor and praise God and share about Him with others. 

3/11/13 

I used to think that when I sinned or was going through something hard, that it was all my fault - that God was merely disappointed. For a time I even believed that God wanted to strike me down, dead, for all of the things I failed to do and the times I deliberately disobeyed. However, I have found out the truth that is clearly in the Bible:  He is going to love us no matter what. And He is always there for us. 

I also used to think that praying was sometimes kind of useless. I figured, if God already knows what happened today, how I feel and what I do/don't want to do, then why should I wast my time telling Him? 
I have proven this outlook wrong by experience! Thank God.

The Bible tells us to pray constantly and mentions prayer all the time. It is a stressed issue, prayer, and God makes it sound like a pretty big deal.  I'll let you in on a story that changed my perspective, though I had read these things in the Bible countless times:  One night I was crying in my closet, troubled and let down by life and the the things in it.  I was questioning the purpose of continuing to live. I wondered why I should keep living through all of my misery if I knew I was going to Heaven eventually anyway. Why not just get it over with, get to Heaven and be done with it?!  I'd be with Christ.  No more disappointment,  no more messing up on my part. That's what would be best, right? - I thought, over and over in my mind. I was so confused, and yet so convinced of my own ideas.

I sat in my closet contemplating, still crying, beginning to get scared - worried of what I was giving into and appalled at what I might have done. All of a sudden I felt overtaken and I couldn't ignore God any longer. I reminded myself out-loud that  that He was with me. I started to cry out to Him like i never had before, telling Him all of the "obvious" things. I'm Tired!  Life is hard right now, God! Why do I have to keep living? Should I, do I have to? School is hard! I'm so far away from you! I need more sleep!  I feel rejected and it sucks!  Do I have to go through it all alone? 

I talked to God aloud through my tears, and as I did I felt gradually better. I felt His peace come over me as I asked Him for it. I no longer felt chained to whatever evil held me. No, maybe I wasn't suddenly a perfect person, nor was my life insta-cured, but, for the first time, I experienced the freedom that has always been mine through Christ. Life was no longer the monster I believed it to be. It no longer ruled me, because I had accepted the truth of God's almighty love and power. He is always with us, always for us, always holding us carefully in His hand.  

I always knew God could free me, give me peace, and do even more than He did for me that night, but before, I assumed I would just get it. I figured whining to Him about life wouldn't do anything but make Him mad.  I discovered there, though, that my 'figurings' were far from true. God doesn't mind us "whining to Him," in fact, He wants us to talk to Him and actively include Him in every part of our lives!  He knows you hurt, He hurts for you. He's not mad, He's just bummed that we won't accept what is best. He know's we do wrong and won't strike us down for doing so. He wants us to repent for our own good, but He will always love us, no matter what.   

I learned to talk to God. To tell Him whats up even if it sounds discontent. I ended my desperate prayer in the closet that night with praises, with smiles, and my tears of despair turned to tears of gratitude and joy! Talking to God does so much. One of the things being that it sets your mind strait, and back to truth.  Talking to God, I think, is the first step away from the bondage of lies. 

Try it out!  Discover the power of prayer and the glories of our God and King. 
If you don't know what to say, you have no excuse! I suggest opening up to Psalms and reading a few out as a prayer to the Father. That's what they were to David in the first place anyway: prayers. I have found it helpful.  

“I cry aloud with my voice to the Lord;

I make supplication with my voice to the Lord.

I pour out my complaint before Him;

I declare my trouble before Him.

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me,

You knew my path.

In the way where I walk

They have hidden a trap for me.

Look to the right and see;

For there is no one who regards me;

There is no escape for me;

No one cares for my soul” (Psalm 142)