Wednesday, August 31, 2016

In A Push Pull Situation

"In a Push Situation"

Thick smoke spit
My tonic
Swell eyes split
Black cloud fix
Late night drips
Late night sips
Sipping up sap
Sapping up tipsy
Tap taps on the tips
Watch the floor lifting
Smash, crackle crispy
Crunch mc nuggets
Four AM grizzly
Grizzle grease griot
Giving slurred wispily
Words like the feet
Falling faster swiftly
Like the head shoulder
Knees toes tickling
The senses of motion
Devotion to sick things!
Sick things!
Sick things!
Few friends out late
Grab a cake
Grab a mate
Grab a bake
Grab a fate
Drive it fast
Make it last
Make it crash
Make it all end quickly!
While she sleeps softly
Coughing up blood
Never felt haunting
Wanting her to wake up
Like the day's drugs scoffing
I'm the same drunk drugged up mug
With a lie stuck to the name like made up love
Like made up stories of truth masked with icing on top
Like the cherry minus vanilla, minus chocolate, minus ice cream, minus nice things
Minus life, minus death, minus point, minus breath, minus art, minus stability, minus self sufficient tranquility!
Find life
Find it right
Find it tonight
Find it before it's time
Find it before it's out of sight
Find it before your friends dead in head lights
Find it before you're a murderer plastered on the headlines
Find it before you find out that you wasted all this time on bad highs
Bad rhymes
Pushing away coffee cake
And pineapple plates
For a daily dose of dead drives.

"In A Pull Situation"

I just want to become your breath,
Your vapor,
Just the droplets on your window,
The dust on your picture frame,
The lint on your T-shirt,
The socks tossed away in your bedroom corner,
The quarter tucked behind crumbs and lost car keys inside your couch,
The forgotten toothbrush that you're not sure is yours-
For to be even the least of these to you
Is like being honored as the richest king...

And I am undeserving...

I am undeserving...

It's like as soon as I get myself right
Someone says I'm wrong
Someone says that you and I are still gone
Living like we've never seen sun, only night.
Forgive me!
I'm tired of asking for you to give me
Another chance to live these
Lives I have that people keep stealing!
I have a heart, but I get shut down by those I trust!
I get so far, but I get brought back by those who say they must!
It's their duty to remind me that I'm a failure!
I'm a failure!
I'm just another mistake!
I'm just another absent minded life lived for my own present pace!
Not grace!
Grace isn't sufficient for my face!
Not for my place!
Not for my name!
Not for my shame!
Not for such a lonely soul who has no where left to escape!

Just cut open my chest and eat all you can get!
Because the love flowing through is a taste you can't forget!
Drink up my blood and find that my blood is sweet!
You can take all you want, I don't need anymore of me!
Because I hate who I am and how I'll always be deceived!
No matter how hard I try, I'll never be free!
Maybe free from sin, but not from your teeth!
So sink them in deep, and watch as I bleed!
And look me in the eyes and tell me you love me...
You never loved me...
Because I'm just a tumbleweed
Bouncing off the ground on the black top-
Sound waves echoing off the side walk
Because I'm the only one who talks to myself,
I'm the only one who talks to myself,
And the rest of the blood sucking lovers-
I hope they enjoy it in hell.