Sunday, October 28, 2012

let it go, let it go


Sit alone, and cry it out

I know how it feels, I have sat in a dark corner.

My heart breaks over the thoughts that pain became pleasure

I know how it feels, I have loved the feeling of that which kills me.

My knees break, I no longer can stand

But you must, you must, stop sitting, it’s only closer to sleeping

 

But you hurt and I see the struggle you have felt

I know you made a mistake and the scars show, but I love you

Even if you’re as bloody as a murdered man,

I will still hold you close and kiss your hand.

My God doesn’t abandon, and he takes far beyond where I can

So pursue Him instead of me, for what love can I make for eternity?

 

What words can I find, sought out to show you

Words are formally used to bless, but for you some have used for curse

I know how it is to be that one that none look at

But I know that even when I am in the darkest hour

And the clock strikes twelve

I know something is holding me in my shadows

 

Two eyes that shine through black veils

Under the hidden secrets upon your wrists

And bring you back to the life that will keep you

Hold fast to understanding, hold fast to these hands

 

But you hurt and I see the struggle you have felt

I know you made a mistake and the scars show, but I love you

Even if you’re as bloody as a murdered man,

I will still hold you close and kiss your hand.

My God doesn’t abandon, and he takes far beyond where I can

So pursue Him instead of me, for what love can I make for eternity?

 

Why do tears hurt and give comfort

Why do my words want to cry, but my eyes don’t

I know how it is to turn to the dark for a light

But don’t fall for the trick

Stay your ground

 

Fear a place that is perfect

If it is perfect it only means your mind has changed

 

I know, I know

Smile and shed that sadness that grips your heart

Drop the distraught, drop what’s in your hands

Let it go, that’s what you need.

 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Winter

I took a heart, when I was young
I didn't know, what to become
Look past me now and love me
(love me)

You always walked, I always told
I never spoke it, now I want you to know
to
look past the winter that I never became
but was
somewhere deep, inside of me

(like spring comes)
Come for me
(like spring does)
murder me

Kill me-
the winter I am
murder me, murder me
never again
will I
walk
the earth like this

I never knew I never, saw this haunting
"I never asked" says I, pleading, taunting
give me what I really want
patch my wholes
These winter lies, lye in blackened souls

Slay it-
cold in my skin
whatever spirit
(murder, murder)
won't haunt me again
In this life I'll, live absent
(of    this   cold)

I took a look through a looking glass
I don't know whats, coming next
stapled fists - my dissonance
look me up and loosen this


I never knew I never, saw this dawning
I never knew it would. now it's got me
give me what I need to want
patch my wholes
These winter lies, lye in blackened souls


Get me light, get me piety
shred my self - security
affable is what I'm not
-
I'm disease
I'm deceased
I'm just grief
I'll just cheat
Forlorn, despondency
Just     fix      me

I never knew I never, saw this coming
I never asked, I never wanted haunting
give me what I really want
give me what I need

Kill this-
the winter scene
murder me, murder me
never I've been
so wanting
never to see walking
this part of me

(this part of me)

(this part of me)

Based on the Sermon a While Back

I don't sin and turn a sinner,
I don't lie and make a liar,
I'm a sinner so I sin,
Am but a liar so I lie.

Born, I saw this world,
I began this life I knew,
And one, first veiled to my eyes,
As a spirit started too.

I lived and learned to walk in one,
But, dead, I rot the other,
From the very first I was,
Born live, but dead and under.

As a rotting corps is just
As dead as one just gone,
A murder man and sweet young girl,
Are both still dead in sin.

"Born again" - a common phrase,
It's never seen till seen in grace,
A new life that moves them both,
I now command: initiate.

Friday, October 19, 2012

It's been a while

Well it's been a while since the least time I said anything, well here is what's been on my head recently You know, it isn't always easy for me My parents are not living together anymore, they were missionaries, but nowadays they barely go to church at all (I'm not saying that going to church is the only way to be a Christian). I'm always struggling with problems that I have mostly in my faith and with temptations. It's hard to love others. It's not so easy to constantly want to talk to God. But to be honest.. You know that stuff is easy for me to get back on my feet when I fall, even though it's a constant battle What has really been killing me recently is being away from the ones I love. It's hard to live with my mom all the time, but never see my dad, I love my dad It's hard to be away from my friends here in Florida, because they are always doing t hings, but I'm too far to attend. But I seriously just lay here in my bed with my heart just seeking, and with my mind unable to find peace thinking of my two very best friends Jim and Elizabeth. It's one of the hardest things for me, to be away from them... And they are always on my mind. But you know I can overcome this all. To be honest with no cliche, God really just bring me peace and can help always. Opening his word, praying, and living him and just obeying him brings me peace beyond possible thinking. It's a crazy thing in life, but it's true God's the one thing that keeps me going even though I'm still sad over missing the ones I love. Never forget that He is right beside you, always.