Saturday, February 2, 2013


It's so tempting to just let yourself give up. To let go of everything and all the truth that you had. It's so easy to let down your guard and just go and get lost in the flow. When I sit back and relax it's easy to forget the reason why I was standing before. It's easy to lose your place and wander off and just forget about all that you were doing. Sometimes we pray for things like this. To just have an end. To just be done. To finish.

But how can I finish? There is no way that I'm done with everything. There are still people lonely, depressed, and worse off than me. How can I sit back and be fine with all of that? It's so tempting to allow myself to forget the faces of people that I know need someone. It's tempting to try and hide myself in a room alone so that people don't have to come and ask me for help. And it's so tempting to think that I really can live all alone. All by myself. All alone.

Is that really the way that I am supposed to live? Isn't life supposed to be free? Why am I still living in my own captivity? Can I get up and move, or will I sit frozen? Can I hear the words that are written down? I am free, and there is nothing that can shake me or break me into temptation. Maybe if I say that I'll never deal with it all again, right? I'm free, right? I'm free.

If I say I'm free, than I'm free, right? Or am I? Or will I? Can't I? Will I just sit here and question myself? Or will I do something that could change someone else? True joy is found in the son, but what happens if I can't see him? Can I? Will I?

Yes. There is only one answer.

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